Not Everyone Will be Invited and That's Okay

INVITE-ONLY...

There are celebrity bashes, red carpet galas, Super Bowl parties, and special conferences and all have invitation lists which determine who gets in and who will be turned away before they get to the door.  The same should hold true for any meeting that an organizer has convened with a purpose.  There will be some people who will be invited and others who will not.  But it is not okay for someone who was invited to ask someone else to join without request to the organizer.  (Yes explain why that person should be invited and let the organizer decide the importance of that person's presence during the meeting.)

Experience has taught me that meetings are only effective if there are less than 7 people present.  Any more than that and the discussions go off-topic with increased likelihood of time-consuming recaps to get people up to speed. Eliminate the problem upfront by ensuring the right people are together at the right time to accomplish a goal.

And if what you need is an audience, pull yourself together.  Meetings should only be held to inform of a decision or action, coordinate a plan and assign tasks, or resolve an issue.  The more meetings you spare people from, the more they will like you and be a captive audience for you in the future. 

 If anyone's feelings are hurt because they were not invited, it's them not you.  After all, purpose goes a longer way than feeling important.

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Posted in: biting your tongue,corporate communication,corporate etiquette,Exec Get a Clue,Get A Clue,meeting invitations,meetings,Temeko Richardson

Bite Your Tongue

LEARN TO SAY NOTHING...

Have you ever been in a meeting and the person who has the most to say knows the least? Were you ever evaluated by someone who is not in touch with what outside companies are doing because they have only worked at this company for n-teenth years?  Have you ever wondered how some people with no work ethic and no experience get the higher paying jobs or at least the title?  Absolutely!  It happens to most people who worked up the ranks to get the expertise, received the education from the top universities, and/or slaved tirelessly for 80+ hour work weeks to meet schedules and prove their worth.  But don’t blacklist yourself by talking too much and worse, saying the wrong thing!

Here’s the art of biting your tongue, making a statement, and keeping your allies:

1. Appear aligned with superiors (e.g. supervisor, manager, etc.) and subordinates (e.g. employees, consultants, etc.) in front of others.  There is nothing worse than the humiliating moment when a boss disagrees with a worker in front of others or vice versa when it could have been resolved before getting in front of a larger group.  If you make your boss look good (of course, without compromising your integrity), you go a lot further.  “Further” does not mean promotions but at least you will not be considered the enemy which can buy you time on making your next move.  As the boss who stands behind your employees, the more dedicated they will be to you and harder they will work.
2. Keep comments regarding others’ work experience or credentials confidential.  The Oxford, Harvard, or Penn graduate received the opportunity (normally) because of college credentials and expertise.  This does not mean they need to be pointed out to the rest of the group who has less credentials.  It makes others feel inferior and can set the stage for “uncooperation” with both seasoned and unseasoned professionals.  On the flip side, telling people that Joe is managing a group and has no experience managing nor completing the tasks he is asking his people to do does not work either.  This causes friction and people lose enthusiasm to work for and with Joe.  It further forces Joe to spark defense mechanisms that might not be healthy for the team.
3. Bring a notebook or tablet to write thoughts privately during meetings.  This will keep you out of trouble as long as you’re not sending messages to others in the meeting or making what you write visible like “he’s an idiot”, “this doesn’t make sense”, “can someone fire this moron”.  When someone is saying something out of line and you can’t correct them calmly, start taking notes.  If what is being said is not important, write out a task list on what it will take for you to complete your assignments for the day/week.  If the time is right for you to move on, put together a plan with deadlines for a professional “i-am-out” plan to escape the madness.  Keep the former or latter visible at all times in your notebook or tablet as a personal road map.
4.  Take the emotion out of the statements before disagreements.  It is common to want to respond right away.  But sending a text message or email to yourself or walking out the door for a smoke break or Starbucks Joy or Vanilla Robois tea is the best answer.  What you send emotionally can result in devastating you financially.  Take a deep breath and recognize there are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and lifestyles to preserve – all which matters more than backfire from making one wrong statement.

Let’s face it.  Not everyone with the job is qualified for the job or even qualified to be around the people who know what they are doing.   We can only hope they bring a quality to the table that others are lacking.  But what should be common among both the immature and seasoned professional is verbal filtering – learning how to say nothing!

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Posted in: being smart,biting your tongue,consulting,Growth Opportunity,Impressing People,Making Mistakes,networking,New Career,New Employment,program management

Limiting the Nosy Co-Worker

The Not Cute Curiosity...

Nosy neighbors are definitely a problem but nosy co-workers can be worse if you don’t stop them in their tracks.  Their motive is much different and can potentially harm professional reputation and career growth if allowed.  

So here are some common tactics of the nosy co-worker and how you can combat them:

Inquire about weekend or holiday plans.  A casual visit to your office/cubicle to start out with a work topic that goes into a casual inquisition is the norm.  He/she will be really trying to determine family life, extracurricular activities, and potential spend to scope out how much you are obligated financially and time-wise.  Be very evasive and do not let on that you have any special plans and leave it there.  If he/she asks any further questions, use the “clean up/work around the house” or “need to rest” excuse.  No one ever questions that.

Expose the type of car they have.  In a meaningless conversation, he will either discuss the type of car he drives, needs to pick up from the (named) dealership, or leaves the key with the bold symbol blatantly on a desk or public place.  Here is your turn to flip the nosiness on them and tell them how much you admire those cars and “one day you hope to be able to afford one”.

Discuss employment favors.  Bragging is their ammunition to get you to fall into their trap of believing you can trust him.  Oftentimes what will be disclosed is how they manipulated the system and managed to not get caught.  Do not fall privy to an open dialogue regarding any favors provided to you.  This person is trying to determine how far you will go to get ahead and who will be the casualties.  And it will be used against you.

At the end of the day your business is just that – YOUR BUSINESS.  Sharing it is not a good idea if you want to keep it moving, offend no one, and remain a safe distance from those who want to know too much about you.

For more tips, be sure to follow:
Blog:  blog.therlcgroup.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/execgetaclue

Feel free to pick up a copy of the book, Get A Clue - 10 Steps to an Executive IQ

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Posted in: being smart,biting your tongue,Business Etiquette,employment,Get A Clue,HR,networking,new business,professionalism,program,program management,project management,promotion,Temeko Richardson

The Art of Keeping Quiet

SHHHHH.....

Have you ever been in a meeting and someone makes a remark that makes absolutely no sense?  Ever been around know-it-alls that really know very little about the topic they won't shut up about?  Do you find yourself squirming to just speak what is on our mind?  Don't worry.  You are not alone.  In dealing with business clients,it is imperative to remain politically correct. However there is an art to knowing when to remain silent.

1). How will it affect your bottom line?  If a swift decision can be made to terminate a contract or remove business, think more than twice before you speak. Let nothing affect your revenue, especially actions of which you can control.

2). What is the impact on future potential business relationships of which the offending person is mutually involved?  Make sure this individual does not know someone that you may want to do business with in the future who believes his credibility.

3). What are the chances this person will even listen or accept criticism? It takes a true professional to listen, adjust, and/or become indifferent. If you want to speak your mind or possibly cuss because of the intense stupidity or poor judgment of the individual, it is far-reaching to believe the person will change or take your opinion or facts into consideration.   So why waste your energy?!

While it is true that silence is golden, it is also a stance that many take to deal, better yet not deal, with an issue. If you have already taken a stand previously in a politically correct manner and the point seems to not get across, evaluate the impact of speaking out or keeping quiet.

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Posted in: biting your tongue,Business Etiquette,consulting,Entrepreneurship,Leadership Skills,Silence,silence is agreement,silence is golden,teamwork,Temeko Richardson