There is the old saying to not mix business with pleasure. There is also the sad truth that most people can not separate what happens in their personal life from their professional life. The manager who is the ultimate jerk in the office is normally very passive and controlled at home. A bad day at work can also penetrate the mood at home afterwards. But we must all be careful that decisions in the personal life do not affect our ability to perform well on the job.
1). Do not fall victim to the circumstance. You are not the only one in the world that has this problem. In fact, people have worse problems. Whatever your situation, work to clean it up. Put a plan together to end lingering drama and stick to it. The minute you contemplate about taking action, the more time it will take to get out of the situation and the worse the consequences. Be the victor by taking action.
2). Protect your employment. If there are people you are trying to distance yourself from or disengage in personal matters, do not share any information about your employment. If you are traveling, keep it to yourself. Never use your work email for any correspondence. Do not retrieve your work email on your personal smartphone. If you are using your personal cell phone for business, make sure no ne has access to the bill or phone logs. Trust me you never want to take action as in #1 and have some random emails or phone calls going to your boss about your personal issues.
3). Remove anyone that has a shadow of doubt of your ability. If you are having any personal problems, surround yourself with people that believe in you. Yes, even if you make dumb decisions, there will be one person that will support you when the people you least expected do not. Be careful of the people who constantly try to make you believe they are the only ones in your corner. This creates a false dependency. They say things like "many people have tried to break our bond" or "we have been through everything together". Anyone that has a negative thing to say about your professional endeavors or finds a way to shoot your ideas down, DEPART from this person. It does not matter that you have known him/her 30 years. Your success is based on letting go of poisonous relationships.
4). Surround yourself with people that have proven success beyond personal barriers. These are not people that can talk a good game but have nothing to show for it. These are individuals that have beat some odds personally and kept their focus and have found success professionally. These people will tell you while their home life was in shambles, the only drive they had to make it to the next day was their career. They focused on the career and put an action plan together to eventually have their key personal problems minimally impact them.
5). Appreciate the ones that believe and invest in you. Send a text or email or digital card to thank them. This not only shows appreciation but helps relay the message that you do no take them for granted. If you are traveling, send a postcard. They could have always saved their advice, time, and money or diverted it another way....but they chose you. Feel special? You should.
Remember mind over matter. The personal issues will always be there but do not let it affect the ability to make money or maintain your lifestyle. If you do, matters become worse in an even unhealthier mix of business AND personal problems.
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